Preface, Speech, and Granola Bars

So. This is how it begins. A young man on a predictably fail-bound journey of hopeful internet stardom. I suppose that's what this will be. The articulate ramblings of a person with nothing better to do with their time than sit and write. Sit down and prepare for the ride of your life. I advise packing a mind void of a conscience, a good sense of humor... Oh and a granola bar. Granola bars are good. A'ight. Poly out. Anarchy, guys!